Monday, August 13, 2012

When there is love, does Language matter?

That's a good question.  In any relationship, communication is the key, and language is definitely one form of communication.  I do agree that when there is love, the tolerance is a bit more, such as, trying to listen in and understand each other.

Is there any language barrier?  I would say... sometimes.  That's definitely part of our cultural adventures.  There is a higher rate of possible "misunderstandings", but sometimes, these are the fun part.  Like, keep talking and talking, then, realize we are not talking about the same thing.

But as time goes on, the communication style will mature, and even evolve into a new "language".

For me, it might be a bit easier, cause I know English, though it is still a second language. Being married to an English speaker, one might think that it would give me much more opportunity to "practice" my English.  I have to say, actually, since I know Dave would understand me no matter how I say it (in English), actually, I say my English actually becomes "lazy"!  The only time I find myself practice my English really well, is when we have serious "Discussion". uh-um - you know uh-um - to get my points across clearly.  Somehow, at those heated moment, my verbal communication seems to improve a lot!  
As for Dave, I have to appreciate his enthusiasm in learning Cantonese.   Of course, none is more memorable than the song he sang in Cantonese at our wedding (see here).  Over the years, he also tries to learn a lot more words in our day to to day living.  Things such as "Good morning", "eat", "take shower", "sleep", "tired", "rice", etc.  ah, and of course, the Cantonese phrase we hear everywhere especially in Hong Kong -  "hurry up" 快D!   Actually, I would say, he catches on even among friends when we speak in Cantonese.  That's actually a fun part of our marriage.

At home, I would purposely try to say things in Cantonese (thus, my lazy English), and Dave would also try to speak things that he know in Cantonese.  That's actually very effective.  Practice Practice Practice.

Well, if you ask, so, do you miss being with someone you can speak in my mother tongue? I would say, the only time maybe when watching Chinese movies, especially comedies, and some of the jokes you really need to understand the slang and culture to catch the funny parts.  Maybe a little, but for the most part, Dave can read the subtitle and "get it" pretty well!

All in all, of course, verbal language is important, but none is more important than non-verbal language.  The love languages, the ones really "speaks".  A while back I've read this book.  It is a very famous book, you probably have heard of it.  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts   Great book, take a look!
 

I appreciate Dave for his diligent work on the Cantonese.  Ah, of course, YouTube star like Carlos Douh  taught him a couple of interesting slang too!  Dave even learned what Chok  is!  Fun!